so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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