You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
