Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you traded sex for a burrito?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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