Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
