Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
