I want to make a zoo with you.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
