hotel room ftw
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize