and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
