If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize