so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
it glows. i had to have it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
