So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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