i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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