i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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