OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
