I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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