lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
