Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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