It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
