What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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