He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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