Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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