glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
