ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
