She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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