I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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