Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
