I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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