I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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