I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
