We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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