Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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