No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
