Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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