she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
