He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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