Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
