but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
