Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I will be naked everywhere
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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