Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
