why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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