she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
