When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
