How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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