didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
