did you get engaged???
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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