His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
