Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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