He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
