drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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