This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think your dad took our porno
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
