thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
