i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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