shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
