i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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