Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
