Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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