No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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