Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
