Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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