he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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