Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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